Sunday, October 20, 2019

Carla is One


 Carla is One 

2nd month 
x   Daddy's girl  x


This wiggling worm is wiggling her way into our hearts. Usually during the weekdays, H will wake up and carry her to our bed, play with her for a while before heading out to work. One weekend, he slept in and after nursing (side latch) her, I saw her kicking her little feet. Inch by inch, she used her own strength to move. Initially flapping on her arms on either sides and then moving both of arms on the right. What is she trying to do? As both sleeves touched Han's body, he somewhat felt it (or not) and moved away an inch or two. She continued her movement and I thought, ... could it be? I became the fly on the wall and just quietly watching the scene unfolded. Shortly after, both sleeves touched him again. No response. Flap. No response as well. 'Ah!', a short one, she yelled. Han didn't stir. 'Ah!' a couple more short ones, she repeated. Then, Han woke up and looked at her, 'Good morning baby'. She started kicking her feet and looked at Han. An almost two month old baby moved across the bed on her own by kicking the legs, flapping her arms and arching her back just to cross ocean to her dad. Okay lah, the ocean is like only sixty centimeters but you get what I mean. Putting capabilities aside, warmth filled my heart and soul. My heart is SOOOOOO full! 


















1st Month 
x      C r y  B a b y    x 

Me, I am referring to myself. Cry when I hold her, cry when we speak. Simple things like oh, you can grow up and play with Annya Jie Jie, Asher gor gor, Sophia Jie Jie and Lucia Jie Jie then start crying. Could be the hormones, I tell myself, but still confused. Holding her in my arms, I wonder what good deeds that we did in the past live to have her. But still at times, still thinking who is this person lying on my bed? Not knowing her yet feeling her. Some said motherhood at the beginning is really about survival, simply making sure that LO (little one) lives. The affection and feelings only kick in later. So true man, so true! Always worried about milk supply, diaper count and latching positions, really all about the basic needs for a newborn. Cry cry cry, at first Han was worried when he saw all the tears day in day out but I believe eventually just did 'Noted' when I cried. HAHA! Speaking of him, my rock, he really supported me through knowing where I am coming from as well as my worries, fears and over anxiety mind but never once brush them aside. The image of me crying holding a crying baby and Han comforting me whilst taking over Carla seems like he's fathering two babies. Can't thank him enough, forever grateful. Shit hits our ceiling fan when Han returned back to work, the two days before, dam broke like nobody's business. Then happened again when the cot came over to our room and night duties were on us, few days before confinement nanny (CN) departed. Cried until next morning with puffy eyes. Reality kicks in SO bad, you know. Oh oh oh, I am one of those who only exclaimed 'OMG, I am overseas now, the air smells so good' only on the third day kinda person. Very slow lah so after only close to 30 days, I kinda realise, uh-oh, I am REALLY a mum eh! Damned, confinement nanny He Yi only available via whatapp from now -_-! GGXX!





















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